Choosing your wedding party is a very personal and important decision to make. The good news is there is no one way to do it and quite frankly you don’t even need to have one. This is becoming a more common trend and there can be benefits to having no wedding party.
However for those of you who know in your heart you want to at least have one or two close friends or family members at your side, these tips are for you!!
1). Think twice before you ask
This might seem like common sense, but the excitement of planning your big day runs high and sometimes can take over all logic and reason. :) You need to first decide how many people you want by your side and who are the most important people. Ask yourself, “will I be as close to this person in five years as I am now?” Reality is, life changes, and sometimes we have people in our lives who are only there for a certain season and reason while others are meant to be there for life. Give yourself at least a month before you make any decisions. Because once you ask, you can’t go back. ;)
2). Consider the size of your wedding
For me, it was an easy choice, I had my two sisters and closest friend from college. Not only was it my heart’s desire to have these three by my side, but it was also the size of my wedding that factored into the decision. My husband and I got married in my parent’s backyard with less than 60 guests. It wouldn’t have made sense, and quite honestly, there wasn’t enough room under the tree we got married by to hold 6, 8, or 10 wedding party attendants on each side.
You can of course have as many or as few as you want, that said, the average wedding party size is roughly five on either side, so you can use that as a guide when you decide. For a smaller wedding like mine, have no more than four, but for a larger wedding you could go up to 12. Just keep in mind the more people in your wedding party the more details to organize. I have photographed weddings from 0-12 attendants on each side. They honestly are all beautiful in their own way!
3). Remember there are no rules
Just like there is no technical rule on the number in your wedding party, there are also no set in stone rules on having all the girls on one side and all the boys on the other. If your best friend is your cousin Adam and your the bride, you can still have him stand on your side and call him the man of honor. And vice versa goes for the groom.
There are also no rules about how to dress your wedding party. Though there are still tuxes in the mix of wedding traditions, I would say I see more of the casual or personalized approach. Getting married in the middle of summer? Maybe give your guys a break and dress them in a simple nice shirt with slacks or give your bridesmaid’s the room to be creative. Provide them with a color palette and let them find the perfect dress that fits their body type. Trust me, they will love you for that!
4) Choose responsible honor attendants
Now this does not mean boring, there should always be endless fun on your big day! But one of the things that makes your wedding fun is when you know you can rely on the people you chose to be involved to be helpful at whatever task is assigned to them. Weddings take a lot of coordinating and part of that is simply coordinating the people alone - making sure that every one is where they are suppose to be when they are suppose to be there. Or making sure they remember to bring all their attire or they can be flexible if you need to call on them at a moments notice.
Consider this: If your best friend isn’t always the most reliable person, it’s totally fine to have two maids of honor or best men. In this scenario more can often times be better than less!
5). Find the perfect gift for your wedding party as a thank you
Last but not least, don’t forget to find the perfect gift to say thank you to your attendants for supporting you and standing by your side. If I was a betting woman, I would say that all of your wedding party would be there in a heartbeat without any expectation of gifts, but it’s an extra special touch that always goes over well.
I highly recommend checking out bridesmaidgiftsboutique.com for some amazing gift ideas for the ladies! They have a wide variety to choose from in every price range. You can find anything from a simple stemless personalize wine cup, to totes, or gift sets like the one you see below.
And for the guys check out groovyguygifts.com. They also have a wide variety of fun and creative gifts that you can personalize, like a flask or all-in-one cigar kit. The options are endless and your wedding party will love it!!